


altered

by kittenyoonie



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends Choi Soobin & Choi Yeonjun, Best Friends Huening Kai & Kang Taehyun, Cute Huening Kai, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Oblivious Choi Beomgyu, Sweetheart Choi Beomgyu, Sweetheart Huening Kai, Whipped Choi Soobin, Whipped Kang Taehyun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:48:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 8,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27496714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittenyoonie/pseuds/kittenyoonie
Summary: "why—why don't i remember any of that?" yeonjun said in shock, looking up at the woman."because we won't let you," she said softly petting the boy, "if you did then you would be miserable my love."~or~yeonjun has DID and doesn’t know it but after he switches in front of his friends his alters finally come forward and let him know what happened to him.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun, Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 41
Kudos: 85





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i do not have DID but i tried my best to depict it. if i am wrong in any way please let me know!

_yeonjun sat alone in the middle of his bedroom floor._

_he was completely alone, crying silently. he didn't know where he was and why he was there but for some reason he didn't recognize his own room._

_"w-where am i?" he called out softly._

_a figure of mist formed in front of him. it took the form of a small boy, "hello hyung."_

_yeonjun stares at the boy, something about him felt familiar to the male._

_"who are you?"_

_the boy took a seat on the carpet and smiled at yeonjun, "my name is juju."_

_"where did you come from? and why are you here?" yeonjun asked, his tears still rolling down his face._

_"i came from your mind and i'm here because you're ready to see me hyungie!" juju said with a giggle, "but only me first."_

_"what do you mean?" confusion settled on yeonjun's face as he watched the boy play with the carpet._

_"i'm here to help you yeonjun hyung. i'm here to take the pain away, just for a little while," kai said as he stood up and walked in front of the elder, "you just need to wake up."_

_he placed his hand onto yeonjun's forehead and suddenly yeonjun's vision went black._

_"_ junnie hyung, wake up! you're going to be late for practice!"

the boy opened his eyes to see his best friend and group mate, choi soobin, shaking him awake.

"yah! im awake." yeonjun whined as he reluctantly got up to get ready for the day. he didn't like practicing but he was still going to do it no matter what.

as he slipped on his sweatpants and tshirt, he thought back to the dream that he had.

if you think about me you will switch, hyung.

yeonjun shook his head, what was that?

making his way into the living room, he noticed all of his group mates sitting on the couch waiting for him, "finally we can leave!"

taehyun was the first to jump off the couch and run to the door. everyone followed and got into the van that will take them to practice.

"okay guys i think that's enough for today." soobin said as he watched the boys fall onto the floor from exhaustion.

"hyung, are you trying to kill us?" kai half-jokingly asked. the leader shook his head with a small smile, "no but i do want us to be our

best for the comeback stage tomorrow."

soobin noticed yeonjun sitting on the floor looking into space with a blank stare. the boy had been out of it all day and the members had noticed. he wasn't all there during practice, he would mess up certain parts, parts that he could do any other day. they all assumed that he was tired since he just over came a bad head cold the day prior, but soobin wasn't convinced that was the only reason.

"okay i think we should all head back to the dorm. we need to eat and rest for tomorrow."

yeonjun snapped out of his daze and followed the leader's orders. they all made their way to the van. the car ride was pretty quiet with taehyun and beomgyu dozing off and kai playing on his phone.

soobin sat next to the eldest and watched the buildings pass by through the window. yeonjun found himself in the same trance from before.

_hyung, i need to be let out soon._

_come on yeonjunnie hyung!_

yeonjun shook the thoughts away as best as he could. he had been hearing that same voice for years now but it's stronger than ever. it got stronger after that dream he had last night.

"are you alright hyung?" soobin asked as he gently rubbed the elder's arm. the yellow haired male nodd _ed_ as he rested his head on the leader's shoulder.


	2. Chapter 2

"go out there and give it all you've got. whatever happens, leave it on the stage." soobin encourages the others as they put their hands in the middle of their circle.

"1,2,3 fighting!"

they made their way to the stage, full of excitement and nerves. yeonjun could feel his body shaking and sweating already. he's done this a lot but for some reason this time seemed to be getting to him. sure he's always a little bit nervous but right now was different. his body was shaking and sweating, his throat felt tight, his eyes were watery and his head was dizzy.

he didn't let it affect him during the stage and from the looks of it he did well. he sang and danced as best as he could and, for a small bit, he almost forgot about his nerves. that was until the stage ended and he was hit with a wave of anxiety, harder than before.

as the we're changing in the dressing room, beomgyu saw yeonjun's face go pale and start crying.

"hyung, what happened? are you okay?" he asked as he sat next to the male.

yeonjun couldn't answer as his breathing started to become uneven.

_let me out! i want to get out hyung, please!_

_LET ME OUT! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!_

"i think yeonjun hyung is having a panic attack!" beomgyu yelled as he stared at his best friend. soobin picked up the eldest, "kai go get the manager and tell him to bring the van around back, taehyun call taehyung hyung, beomgyu help me get junnie to the back entrance."

the boys did as the were told, beomgyu grabbed an extra ice pack and put it on yeonjun's neck, "this always helps my sister when she has an attack. hyung i need you to focus on the coldness of the ice, can you do that for me?"

yeonjun slightly nodded his head as he focused on the compress.

the boys sat in the living room of their dorm waiting for yeonjun to wake up. after they had calmed him down, he had fell asleep from exhaustion. all of them were worried about their friend but they knew he needed rest after what had happened.

"do you know what could have caused it?" taehyun asked soobin as they sat on the couch.

"i really don't know," soobin replied while in thought, "he has been acting weird lately."

kai cocked his head to the side in confusion, "what do you mean?"

"he has been spacing out a lot, especially when he's doing things. haven't you noticed?" soobin said as he looked at the boys. they all shrugged, of course they didn't notice. they aren't like soobin, the don't notice every little detail about yeonjun.

soobin sighed before getting up to check on the sleeping boy. he opened the door a crack and peeked in. yeonjun was sat up in his bed, staring at the comforter on him. the same blank stare he wore the day before in the practice room and in the van.

soobin knocked softly on the door before opening it fully, "hyung?"

yeonjun snapped out of his trance but it was different this time. a look of confusion and fear spread across his face as he looked at his surroundings.

"w-where am i? who a-are you?" yeonjun asked as he pushed himself against the headboard. soobin walked in the room and sat on the end of the bed.

"don't mess around yeonjun hyung."

"i'm not yeonjun," the boy said as he kept his back pressed, "my name is juju."

now was soobin's turn to be confused, "juju?"

yeonjun's face faltered for a moment, "you're soobinnie hyung, aren't you?"

soobin nodded hesitantly, not fully grasping what was happening. juju slowly relaxed as a shy smile appeared on his face.

"i never thought i'd get to meet you hyung," juju said as a blush spread across his cheeks, "yeonjunnie hyung doesn't let me out."

realization hit soobin, this is an alter. he had read about this sort of thing when he was doing a research paper on mental illnesses back in high school.

"juju, are there others?" soobin asked gently.

the boy nodded happily, "mhm! there's five of us so far, but daniel hyung doesn't want yeonjunnie to know about all of us yet."

**_juju what are you doing? he can't know about us!_ **

**_juju you're going to put us in danger!_ **

**let me through.**

"ah i..." juju started before closing his eyes and putting his hand to his forehead, "i go now."

his face went blank as he stared at the comforter. after a few seconds he blinked his eyes and looked up at soobin.

"you can't let yeonjun know about us," the boy spoke with a hardened look, "he isn't ready to know about all of us and juju is the first to be shown."

the boy paused and stared at soobin's face, "you're the boy yeonjun thinks about a lot, soobin right?"

a bright blush took over soobin's cheeks, "he thinks of me?"

the boy scoffed, "thinks about you is an understatement. you basically run his life dude."

soobin smiles brightly at the thought of his best friend and love of his life constantly thinking about him.

"you're cute but you aren't my type," the boy spoke as he got out of the bed heading to the mirror, "the name's daniel by the way. i know juju mentioned me earlier so i thought i'd introduce myself."

soobin didn't know whether to be offended or not after that comment. he watched as daniel looked at his appearance in the mirror before waltzing to the closet.

"what are you doing?" he asked after daniel fully disappeared into the closet.

"yeonjun looks too cute for me with this pink sweater and blue shorts! i need something darker." daniel yelled back.

soobin laughed as he stood up and walking to the door, "well i'm going back into the living room with the boys. don't worry about yeonjun finding out."

and with that soobin walked out the door, closing it softly. daniel emerged out of the closet with a hoodie in hand, speaking softly to himself.

"you picked a good one yeonjun."


	3. Chapter 3

a few weeks had passed by since the incident with yeonjun and soobin. true to his word, soobin never told yeonjun about his disassociation episode. now that doesn't mean the other boys didn't find out. it was by accident that they found out about yeonjun's alter.

"hyung have you seen my—," beomgyu walked into his friend's room to see yeonjun and soobin drawing on a giant paper on the floor. soobin looked at beomgyu in shock while yeonjun got up and ran to the closet, closing it and hiding.

"shit," soobin muttered, getting up and walking to the closed closet door, "juju please come out!"

beomgyu stared at the elder confused by his words.

who the hell is juju?

"no! he still here hyung!" juju yelped with tears flowing down his eyes, "he will make fun of me!"

soobin sighed as he looked over at beomgyu, "promise you won't judge him?"

beomgyu nodded hesitantly, still not understanding what was going on.

"juju, beomgyu hyung promises to not make fun of you," soobin said soothingly whilst looking at beomgyu, "isn't that right beommie?"

"yeah that's right," the latter says as he looks at the closed door. soon they see the door open slowly and a teary eyed yeonjun(juju) comes out.

"hey there little one," soobin reaches out his arms at the boy, "come meet beommie."

the boy ran into soobin's arms, clinging to the taller male. he looks at beomgyu and shyly smiles at him, "you're hyung's best friend."

soobin mouthed the word 'yeonjun' at the latter and smiled down at juju.

"ah i am. who are you sweetheart?" beomgyu said sweetly which surprised both himself and soobin. he's never interacted with anyone like this in an unironic way.

"my name is juju," juju said as he stepped closer to beomgyu, "i think the others like you."

with a small giggle, juju went back to his spot on the floor and continued drawing as if nothing had happened.

"so this is why you two have been spending a lot more time together?" beomgyu asked with arms crossed. soobin nodded with a small blush before grabbing the smaller's arm and dragging him out of the room. went into the living room where the other boys were watching a youtube video.

"he isn't the only one," soobin sighed as he ran his hand through his hair, "he is one of five and that includes yeonjun."

beomgyu nodded in understanding, "okay but why? how?" he still didn't understand why he has a completely different personality.

"i don't know how or why, but i think i might know what it is."

"what are you talking about hyung?" kai butted in as he was walking past them to the kitchen.

"yeonjun hyung has a little!" beomgyu said with a big smile, "his name is juju and he is quite adorable!"

soobin facepalmed, not wanting the boys to know yet since he didn't have permission to tell.

"a little?" taehyun asked as he joined the conversation.

"yeah! a little is when a person regresses to a mindset of a kid and—,"

"everyone on the couch! now!" soobin demanded, massaging his temples. the boys all made their way to the couch.

"okay let me explain what's happening since someone is forcing me to," soobin started with a glare at beomgyu, "i think yeonjun has dissociative identity disorder."

the boys looked at their leader confused and concerned, "uh what is that?"

"DID is basically someone with multiple alters, or personalities, to cope with past trauma."

taehyun nodded as he tried to comprehend what he was just told, "so juju is his little alter?"

soobin nodded, relieved that they understand at least a little bit.

"so he has alters and didn't tell us?" kai said with a huff, hurt that his closest friend didn't tell him.

"well he probably would've if he knew about it." soobin replied scratching the back of his neck.

"what do you mean? he doesn't know?" beomgyu pried, "and how do you know?"

soobin sighed heavily, "one of his other alters, daniel, came out and told me to make sure he didn't know about them until he is ready. he was very adamant on making sure he didn't find out about the others except juju."

the boys didn't understand why he couldn't find out but they decided to leave it alone and follow whatever daniel said.

"i'm going to go check on juju now. i think i've left him alone long enough."


	4. Chapter 4

"so tell me about the other alters juju," soobin asked as he watched the other color happily.

"well you know yeonjunnie, he's the host of our system." juju said happily as he colored in the clothes of the super hero he drew.

"then there's daniel hyung, he's like our superhero. he protects us from getting hurt and remembering bad people. he doesn't really like people now that i think about it."

soobin chuckled as he wrote down everything juju was saying, "he seems like a meany, no?"

juju shook his head, "no he's like a protective big brother to us! he just wants us to be safe and make happy memories."

the older took note of that as he pressed on, "what about the others?"

juju thought for a moment, "there's eve, she's like my mommy! she's also a protector like daniel. she is very kind and soft and she gives the best hugs. her and jay are always fighting though."

"jay?" soobin asked with a confused look.

"jay is a per-...per-...persecutor! they aren't very nice to yeonjun hyung," juju says with a sad look, "they hurt him sometimes, on purpose. the make everyone mad and hurt our system."

soobin stopped for a moment before looking at the younger, "what do you mean by hurt?"

The boy stopped for a moment before looking at the taller, "sometimes...they make us hurt ourselves."

with those words the boy slowly lifted his shirt to reveal scratch marks and scars littering his stomach. soobin felt his heart shatter in that moment and he felt tears well up in his eyes.

"i made sure yeonjunnie gave me permission to show you hyung," juju said slowly with a tear falling down his cheek, "please take care of us soobinnie."

soobin brought his hand to the boy's cheek and wiped the tear with his thumb, "i promise i will always be here to help you and your system juju."

juju smiled before grabbing his drawing and handing it to soobin, "this is what you look like to me hyung."

a strong looking man with a baby blue shirt and sunflower yellow shorts stood on the page wearing a turquoise cape. four other people were drawn beside him, each one distinctly different from one another. each character labeled with names, all of the system's alters, and the man in the middle labeled 'soobinnie'.

a warm smile spread across the taller's face as he hugged the smaller tightly, "you're one of a kind juju, you all are."

yeonjun sat in front of the mirror in his room, a sad look on his face. he didn't understand what had been happening to him for a few weeks now and no one seemed to know either. there were times when he would 'blackout' and not remember what he did when he was out of it. he asked his friends if they noticed and none of them said they did. he even asked juju about it and he said that there was nothing going on and that he shouldn't worry about it. he sighed deeply before getting up and heading into the kitchen to grab a snack

as he walked into the kitchen he noticed a plate of food sitting on the counter with a note in front of it,

_~yeonjun hyung,_

_i hope this will be enough for you!_

_also if this is juju, please don't be picky okay love?_

_i'll be out for a little while but i'll be back tonight. if you're asleep before i get back then rest well please!_

_see you soon,_

_soobinnie~_

yeonjun smiled to himself and happily took the plate to the table to eat. as he was chowing down, taehyun walked in.

"hyung do you know where soobin hyung is?" he asked as he opened the fridge to grab a water bottle.

"he went out somewhere," yeonjun responded with a mouth full of noodles, "why? do you need something?"

taehyun visibly froze before turning to look at his friend, "uh—no! i just needed to talk to him."

yeonjun eyed the boy as he could see him fidget with an awkward smile, "okay then."

taehyun speed walks out of the kitchen into his room and yeonjun just shrugs off whatever weirdness he was feeling.


	5. Chapter 5

_**yeonjun~** _

_**yeonjun~** _

_the room is empty and dark, yeonjun could feel himself wrapped in a blanket on the floor. he hears whispers of his name, the sound of a female's voice whispering gently._

_"yeonjun~"_

_he whips his head around behind him, "who's there?"_

_a tall slender woman appears in front of him. long brown hair fell over her lilac lace dress, a bright and motherly aura was around her._

_"hi my love," she said gently as she crouched to face the boy, "it's been a while huh?"_

_yeonjun didn't know who this woman was but he could feel familiarity in her._

_she lightly stroked his hair and cheek with a warm smile. her eyes a pale blue and skin porcelain white. she looked like she was in her early thirties._

_"oh silly me! i didn't introduce myself," she said with a light laugh, her smile and demeanor brought comfort to the boy, " i'm eve, your protector."_

_"my protector?"_

_eve nodded as she waved her hand in the air and a mirage of yeonjun's childhood home formed in front of them._

_"i protect you from the bad things that happened to you." she said as she held the younger close._

_a young yeonjun appeared in front of them, around 5 years old maybe, and he looked absolutely terrified while he ran through the house. tears streamed down his little face as he ran from a grown man._

_"come back here you little shit!" the man's voice boomed through the tiny home. yeonjun hid under his bed, hoping he could just disappear._

_heavy footsteps rang through the hallway, getting louder and closer. the door of yeonjun's bedroom flew open and the man came in._

_"i know you're in here." he said as he started trashing the room in search of the little boy._

_with every toy and colors that hit the floor, more tears fell out of yeonjun's eyes. it took everything in him to not make a sound but of course his mind just wasn't on his side._

_a whimper escaped the little boy and he was soon being dragged out from under the bed._

_the man picked up the small boy by his shirt and threw him on the bed, "you know better than to run from me!"_

_the boy was a shaking mess as he looked at the man in pure terror. the man reached for his belt buckle and took off his belt, "you know what happens when you disobey."_

_"please dont hurt me daddy!" the little boy pleaded only to be slapped across the face._

_"DO NOT CALL ME THAT YOU LITTLE BITCH!" the man screamed as he hit the boy with belt on his butt, "I AM NOT YOUR FATHER AND I WILL NEVER BE."_

_suddenly the scene changed, what looked like an 12 year old yeonjun was sat at his desk doing his homework with his tutor. the man next to him looked like a college student._

_"now yeonjun, what do you do with that two there?" the tutor asked while pointing at said number._

_yeonjun sighed as he tried to think back at that day's lesson but didn't remember the answer, "i don't know know hyeon hyung."_

_he threw his pencil down in frustration before getting up and flopping on his bed face first._

_hyeon sighed before sitting next to the younger and started to rub his back, "i think you need to take a break and relax. your finals aren't for another couple of months so trying to shove random equations and rules will only make things harder on you."_

_yeonjun hummed in response as he felt around for his pillow. hyeon's hands still rubbed the younger's back, slowly getting lower and lower._

_a sense of uneasiness settled in the young boy, "hyung, w-what are you doing?"_

_hyeon smirked as his hands was dangerously close to the younger's ass, "just trying to help you relax yeonjunnie."_

_yeonjun quickly tried to get out of the man's grip only to be held down. panic started to set in the boy and tears pricked his eyes._

_"please dont this hyung," he pleaded as he stared at the wall, "i don't want this."_

_a dark, low laugh was heard from behind him as his pants were being pulled down._

_"you don't get that choice babyboy."_

_the mirage faded and yeonjun sat there and stared at the now empty air. eve still holding him close like a mother would hold their child._

_"why—why don't i remember any of that?" yeonjun said in shock, looking up at the woman._

_"because we won't let you," she said softly petting the boy, "if you did then you would be miserable my love."_

_yeonjun felt like he wasn't in his body in that moment, "who is we?"_

_suddenly other figures appeared in front of them. the boy only recognized juju but the other two were new._

_"hi hyungie!" juju said as he bear hugged the boy, "hi mommy eve!"_

_eve took the small boy and hugged him tightly. yeonjun looked at the other two people, one of them dressed in a deep purple hoodie and black skinny jeans. the other in fishnets, an oversized black tshirt and black platform boots._

_"well look who it is!" the one in fishnets stepped forward and eyed yeonjun, " still as scrawny as ever."_

_"jay shut up and leave him alone," the other said stepping next to jay, "i'm sorry dude, jay is an asshole."_

_"ah that's okay, i say worse things to myself," yeonjun said with a nervous laugh._

_"no that was them," eve said with an irritated look, not even bothering to look at jay._

_"come on mama eve! someone's gotta be real sometimes," jay said as they morphed a literal throne out of thin air._

_"sometimes?!" eve said with a wild look in her eye, "you almost put us in the hospital because of you stupidness."_

_jay scoffed and rolled their eyes, "if it weren't for that bitch we would be dead and i would t have to deal with all of you."_

_"unbelievable!"_

_the unnamed man cleared his throat before snapping his fingers and tape forms on both of their mouths, silencing them._

_"my name is daniel, i'm your primary protector," he said looking at yeonjun, "you've already met juju and noona, but this is jay. he's the one that tells you all those lies. ya know the one you think are you?"_

_yeonjun nodded in understanding before looking at everyone, "where did you all come from?"_

_"we live in your head yeonjun. we are our own people and we all charge this system."_

_yeonjun looked at daniel in confusion, "system?"_

_daniel smiled sweetly, "this body that we are all in is called a system, we share it."_

_a sudden light appeared behind yeonjun. a voice called out for yeonjun._

_**yeonjun hyung!** _

_"that's soobin," yeonjun said with a faint smile._

_jay ripped the tape off before quickly getting up to look for the owner of the voice, "where is he? where's that fine piece of man?"_

_"jay sit down. you aren't going to see him," daniel said with a look of disgust._

_"yeonjun won't even make a move! let me at him and i will make him whipped," jay said licking their lips seductively._

_"he's interested in yeonjun not you jay," daniel sneered with a frown, "don't make me lock you back up."_

_jay spun around with a devilish smile, "of are you gonna punish me master?"_

_eve covered juju's little ears and shot a death glare at jay. daniel rolled his eyes and grabbed jay by the arm, "you need to go back up front yeonjun. we'll talk to you soon."_

_and with that they were gone and yeonjun was left with eve and juju._

_"i need to get this little one to bed," eve said after removing the tape and picking up a sleepy looking juju, "be careful my love."_

_she kisses yeonjun's forehead and gives him a small hug before she walks away and fades._

"hyung?" soobin waved his hand in front of yeonjun's blank face.

"you think he's switching?" beomgyu asked, munching on some strawberries.

"i don't know, it usually doesn't take this long." soobin said with a concerned look.

he was worried the other was having a stroke or something. he's been sitting motionless for the last 20 minutes.

yeonjun closes his eyes and releases a heavy sigh while slowly standing up. soobin shoots up and is at yeonjun's side immediately, "hyung are you okay?"

yeonjun looks at soobin's with a smile smile before replying, "yeah i'm fine, just tired. do you mind helping me to my room? im feeling a bit weak."

soobin nodded and held the elder's arm while making their way to the elder's room. yeonjun couldn't help but blush at how the younger subtly rubbed small circles on his arm.

soobin sat yeonjun down on the bed and went to retrieve the elder's pajamas from his wardrobe.

"thank you soobinnie," yeonjun said as he took the clothes from his friend.

soobin smiled warmly, "it's no problem hyung. just want to make sure you're okay."

the elder smiled before pressing a kiss on the younger's cheek and then walking to the bathroom and closing the door behind him.

soobin stood in shock, a deep blush forming on his cheeks as he touched where the older's lips were. he broke out into a wide smile and felt excitement and adrenaline pump through him.


	6. Chapter 6

"HE WHAT?!" beomgyu screeched in soobin's ear with a look of shock and happiness.

"bro if you scream one more time i swear i will take these socks and shove it down your throat," kai said with a bundle of socks in his hands. he was folding clothes peacefully in the living room when beomgyu came in with soobin. he never gets any peace around here huh?

"oh shut it," soobin said rolling his eyes, "you act like you and taehyun weren't building forts and baking a cake at 3 am."

kai stuck out his tongue like a six year old before continuing to fold clothes.

"why didn't you make your mov?" beomgyu said as he smacked soobin's arm, "yeonjunnie has more balls than you dude!"

soobin side eyed beomgyu before rubbing his face in frustration, "i wasn't thinking! he caught me off guard and he walked away so i didn't have time to react!"

beomgyu just look at his leader in pity as he stood up and grabbed him off the couch. soobin looked at him with confusion as he was dragged into yeonjun's room.

yeonjun sat peacefully in his bed with a bag of chips and his laptop in front of him. he looked up at the two boys and smiled before closing his laptop, "hey what's up?"

beomgyu pushed soobin's towards the bed and looked at both of them, "talk."

and with that they were left alone with the door closed and both felt the awkwardness settle in. soobin couldn't look yeonjun in the eye and the elder was just confused.

"soobinnie," yeonjun patted the spot next to him and smiled at the younger, "come sit with me."

soobin slowly made his way next to him and he could feel the nervousness in him rising the closer he got.

"tell me what you're thinking," yeonjun said as he comfortingly rubbed his friend's arm. the younger felt a small blush form on his cheeks and his skin felt warm and tingly where yeonjun was touching.

"well," soobin started still looking anywhere but yeonjun's eyes, "i wanted to know how you and juju were doing."

yeonjun sighed, he knew that soobin knew about juju but he wonders if he knows about the others.

_do you want to tell him? are you ready to do that? do you feel safe telling him? i'm sure you are but you need to be ready in case you aren't. i can only do so much my love._

eve was there with him, he can hear her talking to him. he looked back at soobin and smiled softly, "he's doing fine, in fact he said he missed you earlier when he fronted."

soobin looked up at the elder with a small smile, "i miss him too! well actually i missed all of you."

yeonjun's eyes widened for a brief moment, "y-you know about the others?"

soobin nodded with the same smile, "yes i do, i've met almost all of them."

"h—how?"

"you remember those days you couldn't remember?" soobin said scratching the back of his neck. yeonjun thought back and let out a gasp and small laugh before smacking soobin in the back of the head.

"yah! you couldn't have told me? i thought i was going crazy!"

soobin put his arms up in defense, "daniel said i couldn't tell you until they showed you, what ever that means."

yeonjun's smile falters for a moment and turns into a blank expression. his eyes slowly become hooded and he stairs at his comforter. soobin recognized the look and knew he was switching.

the elder slowly came back to reality and looked at soobin. a look of mischievousness in their eyes as they slowly stretched out.

"why hello soobinnie~," the alter said as they laid their head on the younger's shoulder, snuggling their face into his neck, "i've always wanted to do this."

they slowly wrapped their arms around the younger's waist and pulled him closer. soobin was a flustered confused mess and his breathing was uneven.

"j-jay is that you?" he asked timidly as the alter holding him started to kiss his neck. a muffled 'mhm' was heard from jay and soobin knew he needed to stop this even if he didn't want to.

he slowly pushed the elder off and looked him in the eye, "uh—we c-can't do this jay-ssi. yeonjun would—"

"he would thank me for finally getting him laid oppa," jay said as they tried to kiss soobin only to be pushed away.

"i don't feel comfortable kissing you, i will only kiss yeonjun," soobin said with a stern look as he held jay back by his shoulder.

jay mumbled before getting up and walking to the closet, "junie is one lucky bitch."

soobin watched as jay disappeared into the closet and he let out a sigh of relief. if he wasn't nervous before then he is now.

jay stepped out of the closet 10 minutes later with a full get up. black fishnets; a short, black, fluffed out skirt; a half black and white crop top; mismatched black and white, platform boots.

soobin felt as if he were staring at a completely different person. well technically he is but it's still yeonjun he is looking at.

"close your mouth oppa, you're getting drool on the floor," jay said with a wink and smirk before getting some makeup out of the desk drawer. they proceeded to beat their face for about 15 minutes before grabbing their wig from the bathroom. a long brown, wavy hair wig was now placed on their head.

"you coming or what oppa?" jay said as they went to walk out of the room. soobin gulped before following them.

the look on the other members faces were priceless. beomgyu looked like he had seen the devil himself, taehyung's jaw was on the floor along with the spoon full of soup he was having, and kai looked like he was conflicted and in love.

"hi boys," jay said flirtatiously waving at them, "oppa and i are going out for a little bit."

they all nodded and watched them leaving the dorm.

"i didn't think yeonjun hyung dressed as a girl would be so hot," kai said with a look of wonder in his eye.

the other two boys gagged throwing their empty cups at the boy.

"hey!"


	7. not an update but a question.

okay so would y’all read if i made a similar story for another group? 

a list of groups im thinking about:

bts  
stray kids  
ateez  
twice  
got7

let me know cause i really want to keep this sort of plot but put another group in place and make it it’s own story if that makes sense?

thanks for reading!!


	8. Chapter 8

soobin had followed jay everywhere around seoul. well if you could call it following, he was mainly being dragged everywhere to the point where he though his arm would come out of its socket.

they sat on a bench in a small secluded area of the park and watched the birds fly around them.

"jay," soobin started as he picked at his sweater sleeve, "why do you hurt the others?"

jay stopped to really think about it, why did he hurt them? was it jealousy? envy maybe...

"they're too content with living in the system."

soobin quirked an eyebrow at the elder, "you aren't happy being in there?"

jay nodded their head as the looked at the ground, "i just want to be in my own body, free to do as i please."

the look in jay's eyes was that of hope and longing. longing to be free from the system and to be their true, authentic self.

"i don't want to look like yeonjun. the way i see myself is nothing like him," jay said,a flash of irritation spread across his face.

soobin hummed in response trying to gather what his thoughts.

"you know they want you to be yourself and be happy right? they aren't trying to hold you back. they only want to make sure the system is safe and with you hurting them, it isn't."

jay looked at soobin with a faint look if remourse that was quickly masked with a blank expression, "sometimes it's hard for me to stop it, but why should i care?"

the younger sighed heavily, nothing will get through to them. he could try all he wants but it's something beyond his control.

soobin stands up and offers a hand to jay, "we should get back to the dorm before they lock us out."

jay grabs his hand and nods before standing up as well.

"we're back losers!"

taehyun was the first to come running out into the living room, "thank god you're back! kai hasn't shut up about her all day!"

jay let out a snap, "THEY NOT HER YOU IDIOT," and slapped him upside the head.

taehyun winced and apologized to the elder and made his way to the couch like a puppy with its tail between its legs.

"you guys finally came back!"

kai caning running out to hug them, hugging jay exceptionally longer. soobin could feel his blood boiling but kept his composure.

"kai could you let go of jay? the need to go to the bathroom," soobin said failing at masking the irritation in his voice.

kai let go with a smile and skipped to the kitchen to make a sandwich. jay smirked at soobin, "jealousy isn't a good look on you oppa."

with that they left to their room, but not without giving their hips a little sway and giving soobin a wink.

"they are something else hyung," taehyun said with a chuckle before turning on the tv. soobin rolled his eyes before making his was to his room.

he flopped on his bed face first, grumbling into his pillow. he really hoped that yeonjun would have fronted today but to his luck it was pretty much only jay.

don't get him wrong, jay wasn't too bad to be around. maybe they were too hypersexual to be around but he still had a good time. he just wished it were yeonjun he shared all those laughs with today.

he really missed yeonjun.

as if on que, a knock was heard.

"come in!"

the door creaked open, yeonjun stood there with his panda onesie on and a stuffed bunny in his hand.

soobin looked at the door and instantly cooed at the boy.

"h-hyungie?"

soobin instantly knew it was juju, "yes juju? what's wrong little one?"

yeonjun stepped into the room and carefully closed the door behind him before making his way to the edge of the bed.

"c-can i s-sleep with hyungie?" juju asked with teary eyes.

"of course you can juju," soobin said while helping the boy into the bed, "hyung is always here."

juju cuddled soobin tightly, embracing the sweet scent of his cologne. juju always wanted to do this with his hyungs but was always too afraid to ask.

"do you want to tell me what's wrong little one?" soobin asked, petting the yellow haired boy.

"w-well," juju started as he looked up at the elder, "i woke up from my nap a-and jay didn't seem happy..."

_juju woke up to the sound of angry voices. he held his stuffie as he cracked open the door of his bedroom._

_"you want to fuck him don't you jay?" the voice of daniel spat out with anger and jealousy._

_"why does it matter to you daniel? you dont fucking want me so why shouldn't i find someone else?"_

_jay was now hiding behind the wall in the hallway peering into the living room. the two figures stood tall and hostile. juju knew he shouldn't be listening and that he should have put on his headphones and went back to sleep, but something about this made him want to listen._

_"you know yeonjun loves him and you want to hurt him like this? and who said i didn't want you?" daniel said with frustration. he had had enough with the foolish games jay was playing with him. he wanted jay but it always seemed like jay only used him._

_"oh please, yeonjun wouldn't know what to do with that man," jay scoffed and rolled his eyes, "you don't give me the time of day daniel. i see the way you look at me, you think i'm disgusting."_

_daniel quickly grabbed jay's face and smashed their lips together with passion. they had kissed many times before but this time......things were so much different._

_they could both feel the emotions they had held back for so long put into this one kiss. they didn't want it to end._

_as they pulled apart, both of them with small smiles on their faces._

_"i love you jay. i always have and i always will."_

_"i love you too," jay said with a bright smile and bear hugged the elder._

_juju smiled but it didn't last long before he felt someone behind him. he turned around to see a new face staring back at him. a teenage girl stood there with a devious smile._

_"hi there," she spoke in a whisper, "i'm yoonhi."_

_juju stepped back, his back pressed against the wall, "i-im juju."_

_yoonhi chuckled as she peered into the living room to see daniel and jay cuddling on the couch, "since jay isn't a persecutor anymore i am now taking over."_

_she looks at the little boy in front of her and laughs sadistically, "i'm going to love this."_

_juju started to panic as he ran back to his room and locked the door._

soobin couldn't believe it, another alter has surfaced and he found out before yeonjun did yet again.

"s-she's scary," juju said with tears going down his cheeks, "she won't leave hyung alone."

soobin wiped the little's tears, "i will take care of you guys okay juju? i promise."

"pinky promise?"

the little held out his pinky for soobin and the elder smiled while locking their pinky's together, "pinky promise."

soon enough juju was sound asleep next to soobin, his bunny held tightly against his chest. soobin continued to brush his hand through the little's hair.

"i love you juju. i love all of you." soobin whispered before pressing a kiss onto the boy's head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so how was that? i hope you guys liked it! i literally wrote this in one sitting so i hope it doesn’t sound incoherent🥺


	9. Chapter 9

the smell of pancakes and eggs engulfed the dorm. yeonjun opened his eyes to the dimly lit room, arms firmly wrapped around his waist.

he turns to his right to come face to face with a sleeping soobin, lips slightly parted and soft snores escaping him.

yeonjun smiled softly to himself before cuddling into soobin further. inhaling the sweet scent of the love of his life, he sighed heavily.

soobin slowly awoke to the feeling of the elder practically on top of him.

"hyung," soobin called out in a low, raspy voice, "you're crushing my ribs."

yeonjun giggled out before letting go and sitting up, "i'm sorry, but it's not my fault you smell so good." 

soobin's ears turned a shade of pink before he shoved his face into the pillow with a grumble. yeonjun laughed at the leader's adorableness before standing up and heading towards the door, "we have a meeting with management today soobin-ah so you better get ready before manager-nim gets here."

and with that he was on his way to the kitchen. humming of a certain american boy was heard coming from the area and yeonjun couldn't help but smile when he saw him. 

kai was cooking with his headphones on, humming and dancing to the music as he did. beomgyu sat at the table munching on a pancake with a content smile while taehyun sat opposite of him just watching him.

"taehyun you look creepy staring at beommie," yeonjun said with a small smirk as he grabbed a plate. 

taehyun shot a glare at the elder but continued watching beomgyu with no shame.

"hyung do you remember anything that happened yesterday?" beomgyu asked with a full mouth.

"okay first, don't talk with your mouth full and two, no i don't."

taehyun snickered, "well for starters we all met jay for the first time."

yeonjun visibly paled, a look of concern written across his face, "they didn't hurt you did they?"

kai down at the table and removed his headphones, "no but they were very pretty."

yeonjun looked at kai in confusion and disgust, "you think that monster is pretty? they are the spawn of satan." 

"you should've heard what he said yesterday after you a soobin hyung left," beomgyu said pointing at kai. kai's face heated up as he tried to avoid eye contact with yeonjun. 

"do you think if jay were her own person that maybe she'd date me?" taehyun said in a mock voice before wincing in pain when he was hit on the shoulder by kai.

the two boys burst into a fit of giggles as kai sat wallowing in his embarrassment and yeonjun was lost in thought.

"jay would definitely date you and what do you mean by when me and soobin left?" 

"you two left and didn't come back till after dark," kai said with a small smile. 

yeonjun paled suddenly not wanting to eat. he silently left the table and went to get ready for the day. 

"i've gathered this meeting with you five to discuss yeonjun's health," the mr. bang said as they all in a meeting room, "i was made aware that you have been having panic attacks recently?"

yeonjun nodded almost shamefully, he didn't think this meeting would be about him.

"since you boys have a busy month ahead of you, starting today you will be sent on holiday until promotions start back up."

the boys all looked each other with excited looks, "but there is something you boys have to do on this trip."

there's always a catch to these trips that they take. whether it be filming the entirety or working during it, there's always something. 

"whatever it is, we will do it," soobin said with a reassuring look. 

"do you all know what group therapy is?" mr. bang asked the boys. they all nodded and yeonjun's heart sank, he knew what was going to happen.

"well you all have to participate in something like that once during the trip. you get to choose when but you have to do it," mr. bang said before looking at their manager, "make sure it happens. i don't want anyone else in the room with them. only the five of them." 

the manager nodded before they were all dismissed. yeonjun could feel the anxiousness settle in his stomach. 

as they made it back to the dorm, yeonjun couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. he wasn't ready to tell them what happened to him. hell, he hasn't even accepted what happened to him. 

part of him thinks this will help him come to terms with everything but the other part is telling him how bad of idea it is. 

"hyung have you finished packing?" beomgyu asked from the entrance of yeonjun's room. 

the yellow haired boy nodded as he put his suitcase on the floor. beomgyu could tell the older wasn't in the right headspace and without warning he hugged his friend tightly.

"we love you hyung, you don't need to worry about anything okay?"

something about those words hit yeonjun like a ton of bricks because before he knew it tears were slipping out of his eyes. he held the younger tight and thanked him silently.

he needed to hear that.


	10. NOT AN UPDATE!!

okay so i’ve decided to start posting updates on my stories on twitter if you would like to keep up with them! 

my twitter is @lovelytuzi

also if you follow me there i will be doing a giveaway soon on there! keep an eye on that when it happens!

i will be opening up commissions for stories and oneshots! just dm on there if you would like one whether it be a public one or a private one.

thank you for reading my stories and supporting me!! you are all appreciated❤️

stay safe and hydrated friends!


	11. BE ALBUM RAFFLE!!

BE ALBUM RAFFLE!!

i will be doing a raffle for BE(Deluxe Edition) album!! 

if you want to enter you need to commission me!

my prices and number of entries allowed are below!! 

COMMISSIONS DONT HAVE TO BE KPOP OR TXT RELATED!!

au writing prices

-oneshot(less than 1k words): $3

-entry: 1

-oneshot(more than 1k words): $5

-entry: 2

-story(less than 10 chapters): $8

-entry: 3

-story(more than 10 chapters): $10

-entry: 4

NOTICE: I WILL NOT WRITE INCEST, BEASTIALITY, NON-CONSENSUAL, OR UNDERAGE WORKS.


	12. Chapter 12

okay so i have been offered an exclusive contract with WebNovel on my stories and i will now be posting all of my stories on there

as much as it pains me to remove my stories on here, i really hope those of you who enjoy my stories will still support me on there! 

goodbye ao3,  
i hope to see you there🖤

-mars

the


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